Quote #24

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up-they have no holidays.

More from Henny Youngman

  1. You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
  2. The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
  3. To Dean Martin-Dean, if you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
  4. He hit me among my face.
  5. You have a ready wit. Let me know when it's ready.
  6. A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman 'Can I park here?' 'No' says the cop. 'What about all these other cars?' 'They did…
  7. When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
  8. I asked a Jewish man 'Do you know where Michigan Avenue is?' He said 'Yes', and walked away.

All Henny Youngman quotes