Quote #15

I said to the bartender 'Surprise me.' He pulled out a naked picture of my wife.

More from Jacob Cohen

  1. I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
  2. I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
  3. I joined Gambler`s Anonymous. They gave me two to one I don`t make it.
  4. I tell ya when I was a kid, all I knew was rejection. My yo-yo, it never came back.
  5. I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
  6. I told my doctor I wanted a vasectomy. He said, with a face like mine, I don't need one.
  7. I have good-looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
  8. I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous- everyone hasn't met me yet.

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