I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.

I said to the bartender 'Surprise me.' He pulled out a naked picture of my wife.

I tell ya when I was a kid, all I knew was rejection. My yo-yo, it never came back.

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

Jesting and levity lead a man to lewdness.

Lord, for the erring thought Not into evil wrought: Lord, for the wicked will Betrayed and baffled still: For the heart from itself kept, Our thanksgiving acce…

Mr. Smith Goes To Hollywood : Jay is a creature of the Id, who has no filter as to what to say; he just says what's on his mind. So what's funny about the char…