Quote #22
I was so ugly... When I was born, the doctor slapped my mother!'
More from Jacob Cohen
- I was so poor growing up, if I wasn't born a boy I'd have nothing to play with.
- I was such an ugly kid- when I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
- I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumb…
- My father never liked me, he'd tell me to go out and play 'Hide and-go-fuck-yourself'.
- I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous- everyone hasn't met me yet.
- I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
- I told my doctor I wanted a vasectomy. He said, with a face like mine, I don't need one.
- I went to see my doctor. 'Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror... I feel like throwing up; What's wrong with me?' He …