Quote #11
'Fred, what happened to your ass?' 'Oh, the fat guy at the office sneezed on me.'
More from Jay Leno
- No, they said they do not believe in evolution, then they said the biggest threat to America: religious radicals living in the Dark Ages.
- Well, there's nothing funnier to me than the French. The French Resistance is probably the biggest mythical joke that ever existed. There w…
- Women will soon be able to make their own sperm using their own bone marrow. Is that unbelievable? How unfair is that for us guys, huh? I m…
- French troops arrived in Afghanistan last week, and not a minute too soon. The French are acting as advisers to the Taliban, to teach them …
- Now, today is the day we honor, of course, the Presidents, ranging from George Washington, who couldn't tell a lie, to George Bush, who cou…
- 'This is now the twelfth day of rioting in France. They have been rioting for almost two weeks. And France has still not surrendered. That'…
- Afterwards, President Bush said, 'Maliki is the right man for the job.' Just to remind you, Bush also said FEMA's Michael Brown was the rig…
- Congratulations to the Italian people for winning the World Cup. ... They won after France's best player got ejected for head butting. That…