A Korean reporter once asked me, 'Do you think your Korean parents are ashamed because you talk about what you talk about on stage?' I said, 'I don't think they're ashamed because they're Korean. I think any parents would be ashamed.'

My mom used to give me messages like this: 'Ummmmmmm... Scott called.... IS HE THE GAY??!!' 'Well, God, mom, I don't know if he's the gay... that's a lot of pr…

The National Enquirer published this thing called the 'Chow like Cho Diet,' which was this fake diet that I never went on, with all these fake quotes from me, …

I slept with a woman on the ship, and afterwards I was thinking, 'Am I gaaaay? Am I straaaaight?' And then I realized: I'm just slutty. Where's my parade?

'Oh, what was that? Here try that again...this time toss it and say RUFUS! (Pause) That's always been my dream, to have girls to scream at me and be pummeled w…

[about his alter-ego] I don't think Geraldine will be back. She was the girl of my dreams, and she carried me longer than my mother did.

It isn't surprising that many children consider their parents to be a little dim, and that they sometimes try to update them. The fact that they don't usually …