Quote #15
I didn't go to college but if I did I would've taken all my tests at a restaurant cuz 'The customer's always right.'
More from Mitch Hedberg
- Hey this jokes on the first CD but I added a new line so I can't fuckin' rob you of this one. I got a ant farm but them fellas didn't grow …
- Alright, alright. That joke's better than you acted. Perhaps it's not. Maybe it's dumb. It could be. I hear you, man. I'm not a fuckin' gen…
- I want to hang a map of the world in my house then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I've travelled to. But first I'm gonna ha…
- I don't have any children but if I had a baby I would have to name it so I'd buy a 'baby naming book'. Or I would invite somebody over who …
- We're gonna have to sweeten some of these jokes. That's a showbiz term for 'Add sugar to'.
- 'I've got an oscillating fan at my house. The fan goes back and forth. It looks like the fan is saying 'No'. So I like to ask it questions …
- I don't have a microwave oven but I do have a clock that occasionally cooks shit.
- If you find yourself lost in the woods, fuck it!, build a house. Well, I was lost but now I live here. I have severely improved my predicam…