Quote #67

I drank some boiling water 'cuz I wanted to whistle

More from Mitch Hedberg

  1. If I was a locksmith I'd be fuckin' pimpin' that shit out.'Say, what's goin' on, man? Tell you what. I'll trade you a free key duplication(…
  2. This is a CD called HIT AND MISS.
  3. So I wish I could play little league now, I'd kick some fuckin' ass.
  4. I did a movie with Peter Frampton. He's a musical genius, but I don't listen to his stuff. So I had to continuously try to draw attention a…
  5. I like vending machines 'cuz snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at a store, oftentimes, I will drop it so that it achie…
  6. I like wearing this pass, because it lets me know when I'm upside down.
  7. My apartment is infested with koala bears. Its the cutest infestation ever. Much better than cockroaches.
  8. I like rice. Rice is great when you're hungry and you want 2,000 of something.

All Mitch Hedberg quotes