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Mitch Hedberg
Quote #68
This is a CD called HIT AND MISS.
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I drank some boiling water 'cuz I wanted to whistle
I did a movie with Peter Frampton. He's a musical genius, but I don't listen to his stuff. So I had to continuously try to draw attention a…
If I was a locksmith I'd be fuckin' pimpin' that shit out.'Say, what's goin' on, man? Tell you what. I'll trade you a free key duplication(…
I like wearing this pass, because it lets me know when I'm upside down.
So I wish I could play little league now, I'd kick some fuckin' ass.
I like rice. Rice is great when you're hungry and you want 2,000 of something.
I like vending machines 'cuz snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at a store, oftentimes, I will drop it so that it achie…
You know when it comes to racism, people say: ' I don't care if they're black, white, purple or green'... Ooh hold on now: Purple or Green?…
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