To call Art Bell, you first have to have phone service in your cabin... and remember the Art Bell Show doesn't accept phone calls from phones that you have to crank.

West of the Rockies, don't bother. East of the Rockies... okay. South of the Rockies, north of the Rockies... under the Rockies...... whatever.

To call Art: West of the Rockies, just pick up your phone and dial 'Art'; East of the Rockies, dial 'Bell'; South of the Rockies... well that would be Mexico, …

For all of you assholes calling from east of the Rockies, which includes Peru and California, dial...

The Internet is a medium only at the bit level. At the human level, it is a conversation that, because of the persistence and linkedness of pages, has elements…

Good evening Mr. and Mrs. America, from border to border and coast to coast and all the ships at sea. Let's go to press.

(variation on above to demonstrate the good neighbor policy, probably) 'Good Evening Mr. and Mrs. North and South America and by shortwave to all the ships at …