Phil Hendrie Quotes on Communication
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You need to have the courage to say to your wife, get in there and make me some bean dip.
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Yeah, is this some kind of joke? (To character, when caller claims the character is a just a joke)
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Mmm-hmm. Fascinating.
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If you haven't heard the news - and I have been answering e-mails and I have been online in chatrooms and I have been on a HAM radio set and I wandered out into the desert and retrieved two carrier pigeons from some friends of mine that live up in an old silver mine - everyone's talking about it.
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This is highly irregular-- I thought I was talking to a frozen embryo.
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If you're calling west of the rockies, make sure you have a telephone.
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If you're calling from west of the Rockies... I told you not to, didn't I? Didn't I tell you to leave me alone?
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For all of you assholes calling from west of the Rockies, which includes Boston and the United Kingdom, dial...
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For all of you assholes calling from east of the Rockies, which includes Peru and California, dial...
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To call Art Bell, you first have to have phone service in your cabin... and remember the Art Bell Show doesn't accept phone calls from phones that you have to crank.
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For those of you calling from Madagascar or Bakersfield, that number again 1-800-520-1534 that number once again 1-213-427-7266 that number once again 1-213-427...7...uh...uh...3...I forget...
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Its a Ted with a little Sirley Temple on top. You get it? Its me with Shirley Temple on...
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If you hang up on me again, Phil, you'll see exactly what an Austrain village square looks like...from an aerial perspective.
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(After not paying attention to the caller) I'm sorry, Phil, I've got an emergency. We have a baked potato festival coming up on Sunday.
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You know, both of you guys can drop down, 4th ring and cook.
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(To veteran) Do-do you watch reruns of China Beach?
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Oh, now I get it. You think I was battling my pony, now is it?
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Ma'am, does your e-mail carry a...able to carry a big enough file to fit a picture of you in it?
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I'm also suing for emotional kidnapping because when she yelled, 'Get the g-d car out of there', it kidnapped my son's good feeling for me and replace it with my son thinking I'm a pussy.
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You know I'm gay?
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I don't understand.
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Mmmm-hmmm.... (repeatedly - and loudly - said while a caller speaks, much to their chagrin)
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(arguing with a caller) No, you're a liar. Liar. I hate you so deeply.
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I told her to sit down and shut her mouth. Phil, she's my best friend and I feel I can be direct with her.
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Phil, I've been listening to you badgering me for the past two years and I just have to ask you, do you want me to buy my own Vasaline and spread it, too?
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That's bitchin.
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What in the hell are you talkin about?
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Mr. Hendrie, you call me an idiot one more time and you better smile when you say that.
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Please shut your mouth.
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I beg your pardon?
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Every single person that mentions this person 'Hitler' hangs up on me!
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You tell the lesbians Bob Green is coming and hell follows!
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Will you get this old Jew off the phone, quick, and let's go to another call?
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Bud, I'm giving you the the big shot here, because Hendrie blew it with all those phoney-baloney voices.
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Why can't I do the simulation at my house? I can be at level six, and it keeps me away from my mom, who is very stupid.
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The guy was pitching a tent, okay, man?
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You never talk about your mother. Never talk about mother.
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(Referring to Walter Bellhaven) Phil, saying that Walter murdered people is like saying Leonardo DaVinci, you know, ah, drew things.
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Don't make me come through the phone and kick your A.
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(to Bobbie Dooley) Lady, you're crazy, and your husband's crazy. Hooray for you with your big house. You would've been laying up in that big house on crutches if you'd've touched me. I'd a made mud out yo ass.
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Lookit...
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Ya savvy?
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What's THAT all about?
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Why don't you get a piece of fat and slide off?