19 Phil Hendrie Quotes on Satire

Phil Hendrie quotes on satire

36. God, I'm gonna kill. I'm gonna kill slow and I'm gonna kill thoroughly.

38. Goddamn the Warner Brothers to hell for giving Marvin the Martain the raygun.

57. If you're calling from...oh, if you're just calling, here's the number: 1-800-ART.

61. West of the Rockies, don't bother. East of the Rockies... okay. South of the Rockies, north of the Rockies... under the Rockies...... whatever.

65. And I'm Ross Mitchell. I quit. This has been Coast to Coast with Art Bell... trying to prove that little people live in the middle of a hurricane. Je-eeee-sus!

67. What happens if I give you a boot to the head and counter-act that with a block-and-roll?

95. The Wiccan Religion stabs a chicken like a football....

125. Sitting in the carseat like a little miniature Winston Churchill is his little fat, bald kid - you might as well put a cigar in his puss - and he's in the carpool lane, Mr. Hendrie, and the kid don't drive; that's the point I'm trying to make.

129. I wanna be the King of America!

143. We're hoping to get car washes to put up a sign that says, 'THIS CAR WASH CAN CAUSE FEAR.'

147. You've got three people dirt nappin' because of the Mark of The Beast and I'm insane? J-Jesus, what a stupid bitch.

162. The only way that you can save your soul is to go to the Vatican and shag the Pope.

181. Freedom's important, but if I'm gonna die for a word, my word is poon-tang.

212. Do you think there's a sign where the chickens live that says, 'Don't choke the chicken' ?

213. 'You know, they should make a wax statue of you and put you next to Carrol Channing at the Wax Museum' -Bud Dickman (Talking to Phil, Dec 15, 2004 Hour 3)

281. If Fat Joe were dead, he couldn't attract a female fly.

285. I'm talking of giving him myself in a very animal way, and its not for money.

289. Phil, the racism of George Lucas is very well documented. He went to school with the blacks and one of them tried to sell him a bag of oregano instead of pot. So he made Jar Jar Binks.

340. (On conducting safety random home invasions) You witness a man assault you, take off his pants, fold 'em up, put 'em on the bed... and then he stops; when you get to the level of underwear then they stop, they assess the situation, he will question the woman, 'you're aware now that I am here in my underwear', and she will say 'yes I am', then fine, he'll probably put his hat on first, get dressed...