Phil Hendrie Quotes on Satire
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God, I'm gonna kill. I'm gonna kill slow and I'm gonna kill thoroughly.
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Goddamn the Warner Brothers to hell for giving Marvin the Martain the raygun.
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If you're calling from...oh, if you're just calling, here's the number: 1-800-ART.
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West of the Rockies, don't bother. East of the Rockies... okay. South of the Rockies, north of the Rockies... under the Rockies...... whatever.
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And I'm Ross Mitchell. I quit. This has been Coast to Coast with Art Bell... trying to prove that little people live in the middle of a hurricane. Je-eeee-sus!
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What happens if I give you a boot to the head and counter-act that with a block-and-roll?
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The Wiccan Religion stabs a chicken like a football....
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Sitting in the carseat like a little miniature Winston Churchill is his little fat, bald kid - you might as well put a cigar in his puss - and he's in the carpool lane, Mr. Hendrie, and the kid don't drive; that's the point I'm trying to make.
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I wanna be the King of America!
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We're hoping to get car washes to put up a sign that says, 'THIS CAR WASH CAN CAUSE FEAR.'
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You've got three people dirt nappin' because of the Mark of The Beast and I'm insane? J-Jesus, what a stupid bitch.
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The only way that you can save your soul is to go to the Vatican and shag the Pope.
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Freedom's important, but if I'm gonna die for a word, my word is poon-tang.
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Do you think there's a sign where the chickens live that says, 'Don't choke the chicken' ?
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'You know, they should make a wax statue of you and put you next to Carrol Channing at the Wax Museum' -Bud Dickman (Talking to Phil, Dec 15, 2004 Hour 3)
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If Fat Joe were dead, he couldn't attract a female fly.
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I'm talking of giving him myself in a very animal way, and its not for money.
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Phil, the racism of George Lucas is very well documented. He went to school with the blacks and one of them tried to sell him a bag of oregano instead of pot. So he made Jar Jar Binks.
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(On conducting safety random home invasions) You witness a man assault you, take off his pants, fold 'em up, put 'em on the bed... and then he stops; when you get to the level of underwear then they stop, they assess the situation, he will question the woman, 'you're aware now that I am here in my underwear', and she will say 'yes I am', then fine, he'll probably put his hat on first, get dressed...