34 Phil Hendrie Quotes on Violence

Phil Hendrie quotes on violence

5. I hope your car sails over two medians, clears all traffic, lands in a huge empty lot and bursts into flames like something out of fallback (Angry at Bob Greene for going 45 MPH in the fast lane and for making a pregnant girl miss her exit and have a miscarriage on the side of the road).

36. God, I'm gonna kill. I'm gonna kill slow and I'm gonna kill thoroughly.

66. How 'bout a gut check and a neck snap?

95. The Wiccan Religion stabs a chicken like a football....

99. That's right, we'd sodomize a man.

102. You know, it's almost worth it to me to go out and commit spree killings so that when I die I can go to Hell and watch the Devil roast you.

103. It's almost worth it to me to go out and set fire to an orphanage so that God damns me to Hell so I can have a front row seat as they cook you like a hot nut.

108. I will tear your eyes out and I will have sex with your skull.

126. See, Steelworth, he can't wait to see me foaming at the mouth and barking at the moon, as he's one of these W-W-2 boys, and he's got a Japanese carbine rifle that he pulled off a dead Jap, and he'd love to plug me right between the eyes. Well guess what? His cat already did it!

133. Ma'am have you ever taken one off the chin?

170. When it gets tough, I go to the rifle!

177. When I go to Iraq I'll be a one-man killing machine.

182. I've had my butt kicked six ways of sunset and I'm gonna call that guy 'sir'?

206. I wanna get right up into an insurgeants nest and watch as the bullets seer through their faces... through the back of their heads and through another guys face.

207. You know what? I'll kick her ass around the block for drill and her husband, too, then I'll knock down the back door, kick her doberman pinscher in the teeth and have her cook me an omelette.

222. Phil, children are getting chopped uuuuup.

234. How are you going to feel when your daughter's hair is being used to stuff some pervert's pillow?

240. (to a caller) If you were here right now I'd have to drop you. I dropped that woman at the Homeowner's Association meeting and I'll do the same to you. What's your address?

245. I walked in the back door and saw Amanda, my daughter, with a piece of chocholate cake and shoving it from the palm of her hand into her mouth, and...and I had been outside raking leaves, and i hit her with the rake and knocked it out of her hand and said 'How Dare You?' Thats how much I love her. Thats really how much I love her.

262. You know how they separate the men from the boys in Greece, Phil? With a crowbar. Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh:

305. Its gonna be 85 degrees, they're not gonna allow any cold beer...why don't you just go ahead and turn on a garbage disposal and shove a child's hand into it, 'cause that's the same thing.

322. I don't want to see another fetus fed to the fire.

326. Tell me you've never thought about killing your own kid. For instance, taking him out hunting in the woods and only one of you comes back, namely you.

334. The Black boy will squeeze the life out of you like a Bakersfield chimp.

337. Three black kids will kill you slowly, at least an Ay-rab has the decency to take ya out quickly.

339. Well, would you rather open and close doors or be lashed to a barn door and be assualted by...by three guys coming up on ATVs?

340. (On conducting safety random home invasions) You witness a man assault you, take off his pants, fold 'em up, put 'em on the bed... and then he stops; when you get to the level of underwear then they stop, they assess the situation, he will question the woman, 'you're aware now that I am here in my underwear', and she will say 'yes I am', then fine, he'll probably put his hat on first, get dressed...

351. I beat an old woman almost to death with a lamp. She was one of these hand-wringing grandmother types.

352. In my case, I would have dispatched her (Paris Hilton) relatively quickly, but, of course, I would want to teach her a lesson.

362. You know Mr. Hendrie? I hope that someday I'm driven to murder so that I could go to hell and watch them spin you over a pit...Bastard... *click*

368. Oh, in the Name of the Sweet Christ Hammered Up, why do you have to play that?

370. I say to any senior citizen listening to me, carry a 9mm, the minute somebody looks at you cross-eyed, take off the top of his head with it.

382. Don't make me come through the phone and kick your A.

383. I'm gonna come out, I'll take Katie Couric and that other bitch, uhh... I forget who she was-- I'll rape her. I'll tell ya right now, I will. I'll commit the act of rape on her.