[In a French Accent] Look! I'm giving a cigarette to baby. Do it! Suck on this cigarette my darling life is shit. Get to know this. Oh you Americans, 'don't give the cigarette to the baby.' Fuck you Americans. Americans, with your Political Correct - Americans, fuck all of you! You cultureless crap, Americans! We hate all of you! Oh fuck all - Ah! The Germans are here! Hello Americans! I love you! Come on Americans! Allo! Welcome back Americans! No, come. You can build a Disneyland near Paris; we wont go, but build it! And we'll have a Minnie Mouse with armpit hair, it will be great. Smoking a galoise, going, 'I never loved Mickey, you know that? What? He has three fingers. What am I? A bowling ball, fuck off!'

Two weeks ago, the Supreme Court banned execution on retarded people and people in Texas are going, 'Shit, where's the fun now?' 'Cause they were zapping retar…

Sh...theres a gay mafia... sh!!! 'The Mauve Hand', sh... Fairy Godfather, 'Does this pistol make my ass look big?'

'Cause they've got 'The Chamber', 'The Chair', 'Fear Factor', and people in Texas are saying, 'We got those shows. We just don't film 'em!'

The English can laugh and at the same time strike you down, without the least compunction. It is the secret of their success as a nation.

Oh good. Now he'll be bi-ignorant. -On Texas Governor Bill Clements learning Spanish.

No nation was ever so virtuous as each believes itself, and none was ever so wicked as each believes the other.