I was such an ugly kid- when I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

I was so ugly... When I was born, the doctor slapped my mother!'

My father never liked me, he'd tell me to go out and play 'Hide and-go-fuck-yourself'.

I was so poor growing up, if I wasn't born a boy I'd have nothing to play with.

Cottleston, cottleston, cottleston pie, A fly can't bird, but a bird can fly. Ask me a riddle and I reply, Cottleston, cottleston, cottleston pie.

An immensely tall, angular figure ... His gown hung round him in long folds like the wings of a bat, and his wig was perched slightly askew over a lantern jawe…

I had teeth that stuck out so far, I used to eat other kids' candy bars by accident.