Rodney Dangerfield Quotes on Appearance
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Are you kiddin'? I know I'm ugly. My mother breast-fed me through a straw.
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I found there was only one way to look thin. Hang out with fat people.
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I was so ugly... When I was born, the doctor slapped my mother!'
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I was such an ugly kid- when I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
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I went to see my doctor. 'Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror... I feel like throwing up; What's wrong with me?' He said...'I don't know but your eyesight is perfect.'
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I'm ugly I'm tellin' ya. My proctologist, he stuck his finger in my mouth.
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My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
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My wife is ugly. She's so ugly that when you look up ugly in the dictionary, there's her picture.
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My wife was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.
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Yeah, I know I'm ugly. I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'
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I'm so ugly - My mother had morning sickness - After I was born.
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You kiddin'? I know I'm ugly...last year at Halloween when I opened the door, kids gave me candy. Some little kid tried to pull my face off. When I drove down the street, I stuck my head out the window and got a ticket for mooning.