12 Rodney Dangerfield Quotes on Appearance

Rodney Dangerfield quotes on appearance

5. Are you kiddin'? I know I'm ugly. My mother breast-fed me through a straw.

10. I found there was only one way to look thin. Hang out with fat people.

22. I was so ugly... When I was born, the doctor slapped my mother!'

23. I was such an ugly kid- when I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

26. I went to see my doctor. 'Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror... I feel like throwing up; What's wrong with me?' He said...'I don't know but your eyesight is perfect.'

29. I'm ugly I'm tellin' ya. My proctologist, he stuck his finger in my mouth.

36. My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

41. My wife is ugly. She's so ugly that when you look up ugly in the dictionary, there's her picture.

42. My wife was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.

52. Yeah, I know I'm ugly. I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'

54. I'm so ugly - My mother had morning sickness - After I was born.

58. You kiddin'? I know I'm ugly...last year at Halloween when I opened the door, kids gave me candy. Some little kid tried to pull my face off. When I drove down the street, I stuck my head out the window and got a ticket for mooning.