Quote #42

My wife was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.

More from Rodney Dangerfield

  1. My wife is ugly. She's so ugly that when you look up ugly in the dictionary, there's her picture.
  2. That's the story of my life, no respect, ya know?
  3. My wife isn't too smart. She has to reach inside her bra to count to two.
  4. The other night I told my kid 'Someday, you'll have children of your own.' He said 'So will you.'
  5. My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go…
  6. The other night I woke up and my wife was saying sexy things. I looked over and she was on the phone.
  7. My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
  8. When I tried to kiss my date goodnight she pushed me away. I said, 'Is there someone else?' She said, 'There must be.'

All Rodney Dangerfield quotes