Quote #40

My wife isn't too smart. She has to reach inside her bra to count to two.

More from Rodney Dangerfield

  1. My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go…
  2. My wife is ugly. She's so ugly that when you look up ugly in the dictionary, there's her picture.
  3. My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
  4. My wife was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.
  5. My uncle's dying wish: he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
  6. That's the story of my life, no respect, ya know?
  7. My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
  8. The other night I told my kid 'Someday, you'll have children of your own.' He said 'So will you.'

All Rodney Dangerfield quotes