Selected stereotypes quotes

1. Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves.

2. The truth is most women are weak, be they mortal or immortal. But when they are strong, they are absolutely unpredictable.

3. When women are encouraged to be competitive, too many of them become disagreeable.

4. I don't like American girls. They're very conceited, you know. In Europe they're more pleasant.

5. To some extent we are all the prisoners of stereotypes; we see each other in terms of distorted and oversimplified images. Better communication in the realm of ideas, of the arts, and of science can help refashion these false images. And by seeing more clearly we may act more wisely.

6. We all know we are unique individuals, but we tend to see others as representatives of groups.

7. What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?

8. You must not suppose, because I am a man of letters, that I never tried to earn an honest living.

9. Every man over forty is a scoundrel.

10. Contrary to popular belief, English women do not wear tweed nightgowns.

11. The most casual examination will reveal the fact that all the jokes about the horrible results of masculine cooking and sewing are written by men. It is all part of a great scheme of sex propaganda.

12. Teens are always shown as one dimensional. They're stereotyped. When I was in high school, I cared about more than getting a date or making the team.

13. French troops arrived in Afghanistan last week, and not a minute too soon. The French are acting as advisers to the Taliban, to teach them how to surrender properly.

14. Do you think Arabs are dumb? They gave us our numbers. Try doing long division with Roman numerals.

15. It will be a sad day for the world when the Oriental gent realizes that Western bumbling is only Eastern guile in a different idiom. Well, a lot of it, anyway.

16. For every age there is a popular idea about what madness is, what causes it, and how a mad person should look and behave; and it's usually these popular ideas, rather than those of medical professionals, that turn up in songs and stories and plays and books.

17. She even had a kind of special position among men: she was an exception, she fitted none of the categories they commonly used when talking about girls; she wasn't a cock-teaser, a cold fish, an easy lay or a sneaky bitch; she was an honorary person. She had grown to share their contempt for most women.

18. Instead of being presented with stereotypes by age, sex, color, class, or religion, children must have the opportunity to learn that within each range, some people are loathsome and some are delightful.

19. Being a Southern person and a blonde, it's not a good combination. Immediately, when people meet you, they think of you as not being smart.

20. Have you ever noticed how all composite pictures of wanted criminals resemble Jesse Jackson?

21. It would be a very short pint. It would be gummy bears and matzah, and be called Chewy Jewy.

22. All pretty girls are a trap, a pretty trap, and men expect them to be.

23. Nothing's worse than a woman know-it-all.

24. Denmark (also called 'Norway') is best known as the original home of the prune Danish as well as the Vikings, who wore hats with horns sticking out of them, and for a very good reason: they were insane.

25. 'If you play acoustic guitar you're the depressed, sensitive guy.'

26. God help England if she had no Scots to think for her!

27. One sometimes gets the impression that the mere words 'Socialism' and 'Communism' draw towards them with magnetic force every fruit-juice drinker, nudist, sandal-wearer, sex-maniac, Quaker, 'Nature Cure' quack, pacifist, and feminist in England.

28. 'This is now the twelfth day of rioting in France. They have been rioting for almost two weeks. And France has still not surrendered. That's like a record.

29. The truth is, one can work for another ten years and be playing parts, pushing yourself as hard as you can, and you are still accused of that. You're still tainted with that brush. I'm not called Jude Law, I have three names; I'm called 'Hunk Jude Law' or 'Heartthrob Jude Law'. In England anyway, that's my full name. That's the cheap language that's thrown around, that sums you up in one little bracket. It doesn't look at your life. But if one looks beyond, there is actually a little bit more.'

30. The cook was a good cook, as cooks go; and, as cooks go, she went.

31. They constantly use the words eccentric, eccentric, eccentric, weird. I am boring. I am boring!

32. But here's what they don't tell you. You can never make a woman happy, it's impossible. I've never met a happy woman in my life. They're always complaining about something. You can fuck a woman with a diamond dick and make her come ten times, and she'll still complain. 'Why did you make me come so hard? This diamond dick is cloudy, why didn't you go to Tiffany's? You're so fucking cheap.'

33. Europeans think Americans are fat, vulgar, greedy, stupid, ambitious and ignorant and so on. And they've taken as their own, as their representative American, someone (Michael Moore) who actually embodies all of those qualities.

34. I think there is a predisposition among Christians that Hollywood is anti-Jesus or anti-Christianity. I was warned I'd have to fight to maintain the freedom to express my beliefs. It's an unfair stereotype, and so far that's been the farthest from the truth. While everyone I work with may not share my beliefs, I have been surrounded by nothing but support.' -Clay Aiken - Today's Christian Magazine[2]

35. They were nothing like the French people I had imagined. If anything, they were too kind, too generous and too knowledgeable in the fields of plumbing and electricity.

36. It makes me so mad that some people underestimate the wisdom and energy of young people. All because they don't look the way older folks think they should look. I'm working on a song about it. Maybe some of those closed minded people will realise long hair and tattoos don't mean they should be ignored. Close minded people are part of what's wrong with this world.

37. The one good thing to be said about announcing yourself as a writer in the colonial Canadian fifties is that nobody told me I couldn't do it because I was a girl. They simply found the entire proposition ridiculous. Writers were dead and English, or else extremely elderly and American; they were not sixteen years old and Canadian. It would have been worse if I'd been a boy, though. Never mind the fact that all the really stirring poems I'd read at that time had been about slaughter, mayhem, sex and death - poetry was thought of as existing in the pastel female realm, along with embroidery and flower arranging. If I'd been male I would probably have had to roll around in the mud, in some boring skirmish over whether or not I was a sissy.

38. If we meet an honest and intelligent politician, a dozen, a hundred, we say that they aren't like politicians at all, and our category of politician stays unchanged; we know what politicians are like.

39. Your favourite virtue ... Simplicity Your favourite virtue in man ... Strength Your favourite virtue in woman ... Weakness Your chief characteristic ... Singleness of purpose Your idea of happiness ... To fight Your idea of misery ... Submission The vice you excuse most ... Gullibility The vice you detest most ... Servility Your aversion ... Martin Tupper Favourite occupation ... Book-worming Favourite poet ... Shakespeare, Aeschylus, Goethe Favourite prose-writer ... Diderot Favourite hero ... Spartacus, Kepler Favourite heroine ... Gretchen [Heroine of Goethe's Faust] Favourite flower ... Daphne Favourite colour ... Red Favourite name ... Laura, Jenny Favourite dish ... Fish Favourite maxim ... Nihil humani a me alienum puto [Nothing human is alien to me] Favourite motto ... De omnibus dubitandum [Everything must be doubted].

40. Tongue -, well that's a wery good thing when it ain't a woman's.

41. '...Glam stands for Gay L.A. Metal.'

42. Man, I don't know a damn thing about sports, I wear make-up and nail polish, remember?

43. I get offered so many bad movies. And they're all raging queens or transvestites or Martians.

44. 'Well, you know what they say about John, anyway?' 'Well, no I don't. Wh- what do they say?' 'Well, you know, apparently he's, uh, he's, you know, he's [cocks leg]. Oh yeah.' 'I'm sorry, what are talking about?' 'You know, if I have to spell it out, apparently he's, you know, still picking up twigs in the springtime. Oh yes, one of Yul Brunner's hairdressers. Likes his toast done on three sides, yes.' What are you talking about?

45. If the French were German in their essence, then how the Germans would admire them!

46. Jade: It would be nice if some of these rock guys from the midwest pick up the record and actually get in to it. It'll be like that metrosexual episode of South Park: those guys will be showing up at the Nickelback concert with product in their hair and wearing a mesh shirt.

47. 'God, remember Tab cola? It was so nasty, possibly the worst soft drink ever, even worse than Crystal Pepsi. I'll always think of Tab as the beverage of choice for child molesters because I knew this creepy old man who drank it and he must have been a child molester because all old people are child molesters.'

48. 'One time me and Davey were walking down the street and this guy comes up to us and is all, 'Ya'll must be from Grateful Dead!'

49. Drag a hundred-dollar bill through a trailer park, you never know what you'll find.

50. Growing up I was always the blonde that everybody made fun of, and I just played into that, because that was how I got the guys. That's how I charmed people.

51. I'm not anorexic, I'm from Texas! Are there anorexics in Texas?

52. 'Bad books on writing and thoughtless English professors solemnly tell beginners to 'Write What You Know', which explains why so many mediocre novels are about English professors contemplating adultery.'

53. 'Because I'm a blonde, I don't have to think I talk like a baby and I never pay for drinks I never have to worry about gettin' a man If I keep this blonde, and I keep these tan!'

54. Old Norwegian Proverb: Swedes have short dicks but long memories.

55. This old fellow came up to me and asked, 'Excuse me, are you Japanese?' No, I'm Korean. 'Oh really, that's very interesting, because I was looking at you and I knew you were not Filipino. I have many Filipino friends and you do not look like them because you're very HUSKY!!' Is that supposed to be some kind of a compliment?! 'Oh no, it's not bad, you're very strong, very HUSKY!'

56. The Chippendale's dancers are gay. They're gay. Because there is no such thing as a straight man with visible abdominal muscles. You have to suck cock to get that kind of muscle definition. It doesn't work for women. You know I tried, okay?

57. I get nervous when people say to me, 'I just can't tell any of you Asians apart!' Um, why do you have to tell us apart? Are we gonna be separated for some reason? I can't tell us apart! I was not born with a chip in my neck that would automatically identify every Asiatic person that I would come across. 'beebeebeebeebeep Filipino.'

58. The Jew is not a disturber of the peace of any country. Even his enemies will concede that. He is not a loafer, he is not a sot, he is not noisy, he is not a brawler nor a rioter, he is not quarrelsome. In the statistics of crime his presence is conspicuously rare - in all countries. With murder and other crimes of violence he has but little to do: he is a stranger to the hangman. In the police court's daily long roll of 'assaults' and 'drunk and disorderlies' his name seldom appears ...

59. Ahchoo (Dave Chappelle): 'Man, white men can't jump!!'

60. We've all seen 'Jewing it up' performances. They are about as miserable to watch as as 'camping it up' performances when representing gays.

61. The nice Germans, they are the Swiss or as they like to say the other white race. Now how butch is an army who has a wine opener on its knife? How tough are they in combat? 'Many of you have never opened Chardonnay under fire.'

62. My wife isn't too smart. She has to reach inside her bra to count to two.

63. Nurse: You guys are like the Lone Ranger and Tonto. Thomas: We're more like Tonto and Tonto.

64. [Flying into Baltimore after 9/11] I didn't want to see some pacifist, vegan, whole-wheat, free-range, organic, progressive, gray-ponytail, communist, liberal, draft-dodging, NPR-listening wimp! What are they going to do if somebody tries to hijack the plane? Throw a Birkenstock at him? Offer him some pot?...I was hoping for about twenty-five NRA-loving, gun-nut, serial-killing, psychopathic, Ollie North, Norman Schwarzkopf, right-wing, Agent Orange, post-traumatic-stress-disorder, CIA, FBI, automatic-weapon, smart-bomb, laser-sighting bastards!

65. Bognor has always meant to me the quintessential English seaside experience (before all this global warming stuff): driving in the rain to get there, walking around in the rain looking for something to do when you're there, and driving home in the rain again...

66. 'In California, you lose a point off your IQ every year.'

67. 'He has never been believable as a hatemongering brownshirt; his political ethnicity is probably closer to traitor than demagogue. You'd know exactly which side of the desert island to search for Carlson, if he were ever to be stranded on one with the Barnard French faculty and the Tuscaloosa chapter of the Klan - he'd be on the left bank, passionately misquoting Baudelaire.'

68. Elle [la nation juive] ose etaler une haine irreconciliable contre toutes les nations; elle se revolte contre tous ses maitres. Toujours superstitieuse, toujours avide du bien d'autrui, toujours barbare, rampante dans le malheur, et insolente dans la prosperite.

69. The room is startin' to spin real fast...cause of...cause of gayness.

70. [in a Prune Candy commercial, singing] Dragon foot, bamboo pole, little mouse, Chinese boy, Prune Candy!

71. I'm not really the heroic type. I was beat up by Quakers.

72. Scientists are a friendly, atheistic, hard-working lot whose minds are preoccupied with sex, chess and baseball when they are not preoccupied with science.

73. The public takes care of their fear by thinking only crazies and stupid people wind up in cults. I've interviewed over 4000 ex-cult members. There's no one type of person who is vulnerable.

74. ... name association was big, as were my presumed interests in vaudeville and politics. In St. Louis the Bow tie was characterized as 'very Charlie McCarthy', while in Chicago a young man defined it as 'the pieced eyebrow of the Republican party'.

75. I was on a plane, and the steward was coming down the aisle. 'Asian chicken salad... Asian chicken salad... Asian chicken salad...' And he gets to me and he's like, '...Chicken salad!' What does he think I'm gonna do? 'Dis is not de salad of my people! In my homeland dey use mandarin orange slices ...and crispy wonton crunches!'

76. Car aucune femme sur la planete N's'ra jamais plus con que son frere Ni plus fiere ni plus malhonnete A part, peut-etre, Madame Thatcher

77. I didn't know Christians got so angry

78. ... And FROGS, fell from the sky! Maybe they fell from the sky or maybe there were just a lot of Jews with catapults going, 'NOW!'

79. (To caller) Don't you think being a Weebloe will encourage a kid to bone-smoke?

80. If you hijack an airplane and fly it into a building, you Islam! If you bow your head to the carpet five times a day with your ass up in the air, like Paul Anka or Shepard Smith, you Islam! If you read the Koran, not the Bible, the Koran-- I want you to write that down, 'cause a lotta brothas-- and you'll find a lot of the brothas out there are quotin' the Koran, now, 'cause like my cousin M.L.-- they're Muslim. It aint no Bible, I don't know what in the hell it is, but it's called a Koran. If you towel wrap, turban wind, wear a rag, table cloth or comforter or a napkin on your head, you're Islam! If you are a woman and you wear a bag or a bed sheet over your head, you Islam. If you don't smoke, drink, have sex, smile, grin or laugh, you Islam! If you don't eat pork, barbeque, bacon, ribs or Canadian ham, you Islam!

81. Fuck soccer moms.

82. Don't ever mistake this: as much as you love that man that you're living with right now; as much as you love your boyfriend; as much as you admire the men in your life... whether you understand them or not-- and most women don't understand men, they'll tell you they do, they don't-- always remember this, that, while we all normal, healthy men would disaprove of what Gary did, crawling into an outhouse and taking pictures out through the toilet hole...... way deep down... we get it.

83. Words are women, deeds are men

84. When I'm at the porn store--I'm not there all the time, maybe about five hours a day--I'm walking through the sections, making my way, making my way--and then I get to the gay section. And it always takes a second to process, because it all just looks like a ball of flesh, and everything's kind of shiny, you know? So I'm like, 'Huh? Hey, that chick's got a mustache...Awwww!'

85. There's something about blonds that triggers a lightheartedness. People can't take you seriously. Brunettes are more mysterious.

86. 'Two languages in one head? No one can live at that speed! Good Lord man, you're asking the impossible!' 'But, the Dutch speak four languages and smoke marijuana!' 'Well : yes, but they're cheating! Everyone knows that marijuana is a drug enhancement that helps you on track and field to come last in a team of eight million : eight million other runners who are all dead.'

87. Italy invented fascism. Mussolini in 1922 said 'Right, we're all fascists', but most Italian people are always on scooters, going, 'Ciao!'

88. Il est plus aise de connaitre l'homme en general que de connaitre un homme en particulier.

89. My son is half-Jewish. Can he wade in up to his knees?

90. I asked a Jewish man 'Do you know where Michigan Avenue is?' He said 'Yes', and walked away.

91. There are few more impressive sights in the world than a Scotsman on the make.

92. There's a million fine looking women in the world, dude, but not all of them bring you lasagna at work. Most of them just cheat on you.

93. Of Etienne Dupach, the editor of the Nassau Daily Tribune: 'It must remembered that Dupach is more than half Negro, and due to the peculiar mentality of this Race, they seem unable to rise to prominence without losing their equilibrium.' (Ziegler, King Edward VIII, 448)

94. [on Kelly's drummer friend] Anyone that beats fucking skins for a living has got to be somewhat weird.

95. I'm not the kind of person you think I am, I'm not the anti-Christ, or the iron man.

96. Dark hair fell in a sweep over his forehead. He looked like a man who would write vers libre, as indeed he did.

97. It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.

98. It is no use telling me there are bad aunts and good aunts. At the core, they are all alike. Sooner or later, out pops the cloven hoof.

99. For an author Jerry Vail was rather nice-looking, most authors, as is widely known, resembling in appearance the more degraded types of fish, unless they look like birds, when they could pass as vultures and no questions asked.

100. There are two kinds of women - goddesses and doormats.