Quote #26

I went to see my doctor. 'Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror... I feel like throwing up; What's wrong with me?' He said...'I don't know but your eyesight is perfect.'

More from Rodney Dangerfield

  1. I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
  2. I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.
  3. My father never liked me, he'd tell me to go out and play 'Hide and-go-fuck-yourself'.
  4. I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice- I don't know if I'm coming or going.
  5. I was such an ugly kid- when I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
  6. I'm ugly I'm tellin' ya. My proctologist, he stuck his finger in my mouth.
  7. I was so ugly... When I was born, the doctor slapped my mother!'
  8. If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all.

All Rodney Dangerfield quotes