Quote #101
I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, 'If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?'
More from Steven Wright
- I worked as a parking attendant at Logan Airport, I parked jets. They had to let me go though because I kept locking the keys in them. One …
- I wrote a few children's books...not on purpose.
- I woke up one day and everything in the apartment had been stolen and replaced with an exact replica. I said to my roommate 'Can you believ…
- I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, 'I think…
- I wish, when I was born, the first thing I said was 'Quote' so the last thing I said before I died would be 'Unquote.'
- I'm a very difficult size to shop for; I'm an extra-medium.
- I went to this restaurant last night that was set up like a big buffet in the shape of an Ouija board. You'd think about what kind of food …
- I'm going to court next week. I've been selected for jury duty. It's kind of an insane case -- 6000 ants dressed up as rice and robbed a Ch…