Quote #40

I had to stop driving my car for a while. The tires got dizzy.

More from Steven Wright

  1. I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
  2. I hate when my foot falls asleep during the day because that means it's going to be up all night.
  3. I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.
  4. I have a box of powdered water. I never know what to add.
  5. I got up one morning, couldn't find my socks, so I called Information. She said, 'Hello, Information.' I said, 'I can't find my socks.' She…
  6. I have a decaffeinated coffee table. You'd never know it to look at it.
  7. I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose. Now when I get pulled over the cop looks at it (moving it nearer and farther…
  8. I have an answering machine in my car. It says, 'I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out.'

All Steven Wright quotes