I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.

I got up one morning, couldn't find my socks, so I called Information. She said, 'Hello, Information.' I said, 'I can't find my socks.' She said, 'They're behi…

I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.

I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose. Now when I get pulled over the cop looks at it (moving it nearer and farther, trying to see it c…

My uncle was a clown for Ringling Bros. Circus, and when he died, all his friends came in one car.

My grandfather died last week, and we buried him at sea. Well, I say we buried him at sea; it was actually a village in north Wales at the time.

Here richly, with ridiculous display, The Politician's corpse was laid away. While all of his acquaintance sneered and slanged I wept: for I had longed to see …