Quote #36

I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose. Now when I get pulled over the cop looks at it (moving it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly)...and says, 'Here, you can go.'

More from Steven Wright

  1. I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it.
  2. I got up one morning, couldn't find my socks, so I called Information. She said, 'Hello, Information.' I said, 'I can't find my socks.' She…
  3. I got a new shadow. I had to get rid of the other one-it wasn't doing what I was doing.
  4. I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.
  5. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
  6. I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
  7. I don't like the sound of my phone ringing so I put my phone inside my fish tank. I can't hear it, but every time I get a call I see the fi…
  8. I had to stop driving my car for a while. The tires got dizzy.

All Steven Wright quotes