Quote #35

I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it.

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  2. I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose. Now when I get pulled over the cop looks at it (moving it nearer and farther…
  3. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
  4. I got up one morning, couldn't find my socks, so I called Information. She said, 'Hello, Information.' I said, 'I can't find my socks.' She…
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  6. I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.
  7. I don't have to walk my dog anymore. I walked him all at once.
  8. I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.

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