Quote #63

I put hardwood floors on top of wall-to-wall carpet.

More from Steven Wright

  1. I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.
  2. I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. 'It was supposed to be hot today.'
  3. I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be. I called someone. They went 'Aaaaahhhh...'
  4. I recently got a new camera. It's so advanced, you don't even need it.
  5. I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window. I put a new engine in my c…
  6. I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving.
  7. I once locked my keys out of my car. I had to break out of my car with a coat hanger.
  8. I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking', but I don't have that much time.

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