Quote #21

I don't drink water. Fish poop in it.

More from W. C. Fields

  1. Fields reloading!
  2. (singing) I'd rather have two girls at twenty-one each, than one girl at forty-two.
  3. Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose- to make people laugh.
  4. Hangman: 'Have you any last wish?' WC: 'Yes, I'd like to see Paris before I die . . . Philadelphia will do.' (from My Little Chickadee)
  5. Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone e…
  6. Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
  7. WC: 'Is it true your father was a gate-leg table?' McCarthy: 'If he was, then your father was under it!' (from a radio show)
  8. I never wanted to be an actor, I wanted to be a drunk. Now I'm neither, but nobody can tell the difference.

All W. C. Fields quotes