Quote #78

Never drink water, fishes make love in that stuff!

More from W. C. Fields

  1. I'm looking for loopholes. [Said when caught reading the Bible.]
  2. When a man,,,,,lies cheat and steals,,,,, but hates children,,,,, there must be something good in him!
  3. On his death bed, he supposedly asked his banker, 'Do I have enough money to buy all the children of Philadelphia a bike each?' The banker …
  4. A lot of people have bad luck. They should just be like Fields and not give a fuck.
  5. I note the derogatory rumors concerning my use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.
  6. If you can't razzle them with dazzle, baffle them with bullshit.
  7. Here you have some razor blades. And now, play with them!
  8. You can't cheat an honest man. He has to have larceny in his heart in the first place.

All W. C. Fields quotes