I think that people should mate for life, like pigeons or Catholics.

Talent is luck. The important thing in life is courage.

I can't express anger. That's my problem. I internalize everything. I just grow a tumor instead.

This is so antiseptic. It's empty. Why do you think this is funny? You're going by audience reaction? This is an audience that's raised on television, their st…

When I invite a woman to dinner I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay!

She [Comedy] it is who proposes the correcting of pretentiousness, of inflation, of dulness, and of the vestiges of rawness and grossness to be found among us.…

And how does gravity work? And if it were to cease suddenly, would certain restaurants still require a jacket?