I was walking through the park... plucking out nose hairs. Oh, those sleeping winos HATE that.

I was walking down the street, something caught my eye... and dragged it fifteen feet.

I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was conscious from the top of h…

I was pulled over in Massachusetts for reckless driving. When brought before the judge, I was asked if I knew what the punishment for drunk driving in that sta…

'Your nose hair... which is grey... is in my eye'

The secret story is the one we'll never know, although we're living it from day to day, thinking we're alive, thinking we've got it all under control and the s…

I wonder by my troth, what thou, and I Did, till we loved? were we not weaned till then? But sucked on country pleasures, childishly? Or snorted we in the seve…