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George Carlin
Quote #164
I went to the Missing Persons Bureau, but no one was there.
More from George Carlin
I never watch Sesame Street. I already know most of that stuff.
I worry about my judgment when anything I believe in or do regularly begins to be accepted by the American public.
I go to bed early; my favorite dream comes on at nine.
If a man smiles all the time, he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
I feel sorry for confetti. Its useful life lasts about two seconds. And it can never be used again.
If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends.
When someone is impatient and says, 'I haven't got all day,' I always wonder, how can that be? How can you not have all day?
If you mail a letter to the post office, who delivers it?
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