More from George Carlin

  1. In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
  2. Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
  3. If you mail a letter to the post office, who delivers it?
  4. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
  5. If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends.
  6. 'No comment' is a comment.
  7. If a man smiles all the time, he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
  8. Nothing is so boring as listening to someone else describe a dream.

All George Carlin quotes