Quote #37

Here would be a good name for a gay restaurant: The Mouthful. Oh come on, that's clever shit! That's a double pun, God damn it; you didn't think of it! Besides, you don't have to eat there if you don't want to. No. Just go in, have a cocktail. Or a Highball.

More from George Carlin

  1. Names are an interest of mine. Not a hobby; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
  2. Would someone just put a dick in that guy's mouth please? 'Cause that's what he wants. He's a cocksucker in disguise. He's got his mouth op…
  3. Do you know why it is, when a rancher fucks a sheep, he does so at the edge of a cliff? It's so the sheep will push back.
  4. Then there are all those people in the space program. Nas-holes, I call them.
  5. So why is it they allow a guy with big, powerful hands to get on board an airplane? I'll tell you why: they know he's not a security risk, …
  6. If I should be out driving around looking for a little fun and I see an accident, one that I am not involved in, I stop immediately! Well, …
  7. There's a lot of things you could use to kill a guy with. You could probably beat a guy to death with the Sunday New York Times!
  8. Here's a bumper sticker I'd like to see: 'We are the proud parents of a child whose self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn't need us promo…

All George Carlin quotes