Now apparently, some people don't know what a pussy-fart is. Because I got some inquiries. Here's the deal: a pussy fart is like when you're making love to a woman who's got a little extra air in her vagina. So every time you thrust forward, it's kind of a : [makes various farting noises] And each of you is lying in bed, wondering if the other one farted. And the man is usually thinking, 'Maybe she farts when she cums. Maybe she took a shit. Man, I've got to stay out of that fucking bar.'

You know something people don't talk about in public anymore? Pussy farts.

Cannibalism. Imagine that: chowing down on another human being. You gotta be all out of beef jerky, man. You gotta be really fucking hungry. But it happens, do…

Here's something you never hear a man say: 'Stop sucking my dick or I'll call the police!'

I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early.

Here's something you never hear a man say: 'Stop sucking my dick or I'll call the police!'

When you jerk off, you're saying 'Hey, I care about me.'