Quote #63

Don Ho can sign autographs 3.4 times faster than Ephraim Zimbalist Jr.

More from George Carlin

  1. I call him Governor Bush because that's the only political office he's ever held legally.
  2. Irony deals with opposites; it has nothing to do with coincidence. If two baseball players from the same hometown, on different teams, rece…
  3. It's all bullshit, folks, and it's bad for ya.
  4. 'One thing leads to another'? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.
  5. Raising a child is not difficult, you just have to follow the steps. Step one: you take the kid, and you put him on the street corner, and …
  6. Try explaining Hitler to a kid.
  7. 'Every child is special.' Boy, they said it over and over, as if to convince themselves, 'every child is special', and I kept saying, 'fuuu…
  8. I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.

All George Carlin quotes