More from Henny Youngman

  1. My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts eating.
  2. My wife wanted her face lifted. They couldn't do that. But for $80, they lowered her body.
  3. My wife was at the beauty shop for two hours, and that was only for the estimate.
  4. My wife is the sweetest, most tolerant, most beautiful woman in the world. This is a paid political announcement.
  5. Now she's on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight. But she can climb a tree!
  6. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
  7. All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.
  8. If there's never been a suicide in your family, why don't you break the monotony?

All Henny Youngman quotes