Quote #8

'Modesty is my best quality'

More from Jack Benny

  1. 'Hors D'oeuvre: A ham sandwich cut into forty pieces'
  2. 'Gags die, humor doesn't'
  3. 'It's not so much knowing when to speak, when to pause.'
  4. (when walking to his dressing room) 'Fibber McGee... and Molly. Burns... And Allen. Lady and... Here's mine.'
  5. My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder,…
  6. I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early.
  7. I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go too.
  8. A cannibal is a guy who goes into a restaurant and orders the waiter.

All Jack Benny quotes