Quote #7

'Hors D'oeuvre: A ham sandwich cut into forty pieces'

More from Jack Benny

  1. 'It's not so much knowing when to speak, when to pause.'
  2. 'Modesty is my best quality'
  3. My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder,…
  4. 'Gags die, humor doesn't'
  5. I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go too.
  6. (when walking to his dressing room) 'Fibber McGee... and Molly. Burns... And Allen. Lady and... Here's mine.'
  7. I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.
  8. I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early.

All Jack Benny quotes