Quote #5

My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.

More from Jack Benny

  1. I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go too.
  2. 'It's not so much knowing when to speak, when to pause.'
  3. I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.
  4. 'Hors D'oeuvre: A ham sandwich cut into forty pieces'
  5. Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
  6. 'Modesty is my best quality'
  7. A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid.
  8. 'Gags die, humor doesn't'

All Jack Benny quotes