Jack Benny Quotes on Joke
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My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.
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A cannibal is a guy who goes into a restaurant and orders the waiter.
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Jack Benny: That star has five points.
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Bob Hope: Why do you want Jack's pants?
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Clyde: General Electric.
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Jack: [pointing a pistol at Bob's trousers] I'm going to blow your brains out.
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Jack Benny played Mendelssohn last night. Mendelssohn lost.
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Everybody is afraid they won't have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in. ~ Bob Hope [2]