Quote #6
My mother didn't breast-feed me. She said she liked me as a friend.
More from Jacob Cohen
- Are you kiddin'? I know I'm ugly. My mother breast-fed me through a straw.
- During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
- A hooker told me 'Not on the first date.'
- I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
- A girl called me the other day and said 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.
- I drink too much. Way too much. I gave a urine sample, there was an olive in it.
- You know my Doctor, Doctor Vinny BoomBots... I called and told him I had a bad case of diarrhea. - He put me on hold!
- I found there was only one way to look thin. Hang out with fat people.