Quote #7

During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.

Attribution disputed; shown as originally published.

More from Jacob Cohen

  1. My mother didn't breast-feed me. She said she liked me as a friend.
  2. I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
  3. Are you kiddin'? I know I'm ugly. My mother breast-fed me through a straw.
  4. I drink too much. Way too much. I gave a urine sample, there was an olive in it.
  5. A hooker told me 'Not on the first date.'
  6. I found there was only one way to look thin. Hang out with fat people.
  7. A girl called me the other day and said 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.
  8. I have good-looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.

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