'GET BRETT WEIR I SAID!!!!' (from 'Super Across the Way')

'Why don't I come down there and read that book with you? I can pet you, feel you up like you're my little turtle.' (from 'Super Gay')

'My wife's up there (on the roof) poking around like she knows what the fuck she's doing, I fired her ass off onto the fuckin car.' (from 'Roofing')

'Whatever you need sold I'll sell it. Bring in a tank and I'll sell the fuckin thing.' (from 'Car Salesman')

'I need you to come RIGHT NOW and sweep all these beer bottles, all from my floor.' (from 'Little Elf')

Bang bang bang, on the door baby!

For Heaven's sake, send help! There's a man trying to get into my room and the door's locked!