You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.[7]

I sit at my hotel at night, I think of something that's funny, then I go get a pen and I write it down. Or if the pen's too far away, I have to convince myself…

Vending machines are big part of my life, I like when you reach into the vending machine to grab your candy bar and that flap goes up to block you from reachin…

When I play the South, they say 'y'all' in the South. They take out the 'O' and the 'U'. So when I'm in the South I try to talk like that so people understand …

I have also considered many scientific plans during my pushing you around in your pram!

Mr. Grover [Doing an informal job interview]: What experience have you had at a department store? Wolf J. Flywheel (Groucho): I was a shoplifter for three year…

There will be good days and bad, which means that some days I may be cranky and some days really cranky!