Mitch Hedberg Quotes on Life
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Fish are always eating other fish. If fish could scream, the ocean would be loud as shit. You would not want to submerge your head, nothing but fish going 'Ahhh, fuck! I thought I looked like that rock!'
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You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.[7]
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My roommate said to me, 'I'm gonna go shave and use the shower, does anyone need to use the bathroom?' It's like some weird ass quiz where he reveals the answer first.
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I was walking down the street the other day when this guy asked if I wanted a frozen banana...I said 'no' but then thought I might want a regular banana later, so...yeah.