Mitch Hedberg Quotes on Alcohol
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I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, 'Dude, you have to wait.'[5]
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If you drink O'Douls, you don't drink. But if you drink 20 O'Douls in a half hour, then you're a fucking non-alcoholic. Non-alcoholism is a problem too. And there are symptoms, like when you fall down, does it always hurt? - Live at the 40 Watt Club, Athens, Georgia, April 9, 2002
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My manager saw me drinking backstage and he said 'Mitch, don't use liquor as a crutch.' I can't use liquor as a crutch, because a crutch helps me walk. Liquor severely fucks up the way I walk. It ain't like a crutch, it's like a step I didn't see. - Live at the 40 Watt Club, Athens, Georgia, April 9, 2002