Mitch Hedberg Quotes on Home
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I want to hang a map of the world in my house then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I've travelled to. But first I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won't fall down.
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'I've got an oscillating fan at my house. The fan goes back and forth. It looks like the fan is saying 'No'. So I like to ask it questions that a fan would say no to. Do you keep my hair in place? Do you keep my documents in order? Do you have three settings? Liar! My fan fucking lied to me. Now I will pull the pin up. Now you ain't sayin' shit.'
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My apartment is infested with koala bears. Its the cutest infestation ever. Much better than cockroaches.
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I have a king sized bed, i don't know any kings, but if i ever meet one i can tell him 'you will not believe what i have in store for you!' 'This is made to your exact specifications!' When i was little i used to lay in my twin sized bed at night wondering where my brother was.