Mitch Hedberg Quotes on Writing
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Hey this jokes on the first CD but I added a new line so I can't fuckin' rob you of this one. I got a ant farm but them fellas didn't grow shit. I said 'C'mon what about some celery. You fuckers don't farm; plus, if I tore your legs off you would look like snowmen. That's the new part.'
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I sit at my hotel at night, I think of something that's funny, then I go get a pen and I write it down. Or if the pen's too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of ain't funny.[3]
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A guy told me he liked cherries...but... I waited to see if he was gonna say tomato...before i realized he likes cherries just...alright, that joke is ridiculous. That's like a carbon copy of the previous joke but with different ingredients. I don't know what i was trying to pull off there.
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I wrote a script and gave it to a guy that reads scripts. And he read it and said he really likes it, but he thinks I need to rewrite it. I said, 'Fuck that, I'll just make a copy.'