Whenever I go to shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving, so I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'

Last week I helped my friend stay put. It's a lot easier'n helpin' 'em move. I just went over to his house and made sure that he did not start to load shit int…

On a stop light green means go and yellow means slow down, but on a banana it's just the opposite. Green means hold on, yellow means go ahead, and red means, '…

A guy told me he liked cherries...but... I waited to see if he was gonna say tomato...before i realized he likes cherries just...alright, that joke is ridiculo…

Commuter - one who spends his life In riding to and from his wife; A man who shaves and takes a train And then rides back to shave again.

It's not easy being a man! Oh no..I had to get dressed today... and there are other pressures.

'We'd have to go self-service.'