Quote #9
See, this CD is in stores. The only way I could get my last CD into a store was to take one in there and leave it. 'Sir, you forgot this!' 'No, I did not. That is for 'sale'. Please alphabetize 'it'.'[2]
More from Mitch Hedberg
- I tried to walk into Target, but I missed.[1]
- Check this joke out: (Pointing to the back of the room as if to relay his post-show whereabouts.) If you wanna talk to me after the show I'…
- Is a hippopotamus really a hippopotomus or just a really cool opotamus?
- I don't have a microwave oven but I do have a clock that occasionally cooks shit.
- I can't tell you what hotel I'm stayin' in, but I can say that there are two trees involved. They said, 'Let's call this hotel 'Something..…
- We're gonna have to sweeten some of these jokes. That's a showbiz term for 'Add sugar to'.
- Fish are always eating other fish. If fish could scream, the ocean would be loud as shit. You would not want to submerge your head, nothing…
- I want to hang a map of the world in my house then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I've travelled to. But first I'm gonna ha…